Monkey Reflections: 2019

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Hi everyone.

Its been a little while since the last post. Life has a nasty habit of getting all messy sometimes. To make a long story short, about a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was at the doctor for something else and he handed me a questionnaire to fill out. Not sure what I said to him to tip him off but three or four more forms and some uncomfortable questions later I have a mental illness.

Turns out I've had anxiety and depression most of my life. It just my default setting now. There's no real trigger or situation that caused it. Its just been there for as long as I can remember. Well Doc put me on some meds to help out. They kind of work but not really. I can't take the stuff they want to put me on because it would disqualify me from my job. Feeling "normal" isn't worth starting over. The stuff they want me to take makes me not feel like doing anything. All motivation is gone.

That doesn't work for me. I have to be able to get stuff done at work and home. Even when I have time to sit down and post some squishy or slooty goth girls, I just don't feel like it. Part of me taking care of me is knowing that the meds aren't working for me. So I'm not taking them anymore. I'm going to do the things I need to do like hitting the gym, getting the Jeep dirty, and find pictures of girls I find attractive to post here.

So, I'm going to try to remember to make some posts. I may even set some up ahead of time just to make sure I don't forget or if I don't feel like it there will be regular posts. I'm doing this for me. If anyone finds this little piece of my twisted mind entertaining, then its a good day.