Its been a little while since the last post. Life has a nasty habit of getting all messy sometimes. To make a long story short, about a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was at the doctor for something else and he handed me a questionnaire to fill out. Not sure what I said to him to tip him off but three or four more forms and some uncomfortable questions later I have a mental illness.
Turns out I've had anxiety and depression most of my life. It just my default setting now. There's no real trigger or situation that caused it. Its just been there for as long as I can remember. Well Doc put me on some meds to help out. They kind of work but not really. I can't take the stuff they want to put me on because it would disqualify me from my job. Feeling "normal" isn't worth starting over. The stuff they want me to take makes me not feel like doing anything. All motivation is gone.
That doesn't work for me. I have to be able to get stuff done at work and home. Even when I have time to sit down and post some squishy or slooty goth girls, I just don't feel like it. Part of me taking care of me is knowing that the meds aren't working for me. So I'm not taking them anymore. I'm going to do the things I need to do like hitting the gym, getting the Jeep dirty, and find pictures of girls I find attractive to post here.
So, I'm going to try to remember to make some posts. I may even set some up ahead of time just to make sure I don't forget or if I don't feel like it there will be regular posts. I'm doing this for me. If anyone finds this little piece of my twisted mind entertaining, then its a good day.
Same same. The drugs are meh, okay, but lose their ability to stop the depression and don't lose their ability to take the fun out of life. Nothing like sitting at your job not wanting or caring to do anything to make work a wonderful place.
ReplyDeleteSo.. Drugs and no fun, or dark feelings about the world and the ability to have fun. Gee, which one do I choose?
Slooty girls and Squishy girls. Maybe some Slooty and Squishy Goths if such exist.
Hang in there and keep on truckin or whatever.
Slooty and squishy? I think I can handle that.
DeleteIt is a damn bitch being depressed and anxiety. What meds have the witch doctors put you on if I may ask? I used to be a Psych Nurse and some of the meds are straight out of a witches cauldron; eye of Newt, frog testicles, pigeon brain...
ReplyDeleteDoc wrote me Wellbutrin. Like I said, it kind of helped but not really. It mostly gave me dry mouth and made me feel blah.
DeleteJust keep focused on what you need to do to get your head back on straight, I know it isn't even close to as easy as just saying that. We'll be around when you feel like posting more.
ReplyDeleteDiogenes here. I would sughest having a run at the Meyers-Brigg type indicator test. I was diagnosed as bi-polar, but the MBTI labels me as an INTJ and reading its description of that type was like having someone writing about ME! It helps you find what 'contradictions' you have are normal and to apply as needed to the ones that society inflicts on us.
ReplyDeleteI've taken the MBTI a few times over the years. I think it diagnosed me as INTJ. I would have to dig out some old stuff to find out for sure. I've taken a few other personality and behavior self awareness tools. They are great for helping understand yourself. I've also dabbled in some psychology self study to help me understand human behavior.
DeleteThere's a lot to be said for fundamentally changing your lifestyle to accommodate a mental illness. Pills just mask an issue, don't fix it. I had motivational issues and chose to suck it up and change my life so I couldn't be lazy. It worked, I'm healthier, have a better mindset, and eat way better. Processed foods and sugars can really mess you up chemically. Try eating cleaner and see if it helps. Did for me. Hope this helps you. I hate seeing all the bloggers leaving these days. We are becoming sparse.
ReplyDeleteI've been working on cleaning up my diet and exercising more. The exercise helps the most. There's nothing better than a good runner's high until I get out of the shower and have to limp around the house the rest of the night. Thanks for the suggestion.
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